All in a rush about work! The morning begins with drawing and the evening ends with drawing. I have to make several paintings this week and next, and the only way I can do it is to draw. First I draw, and I can develop ideas without having to think very much. And at the moment I do not wish to think! I haven’t the time!
Some of the drawings I made today might reflect a bit of intellection. But mostly, it was see, point, shoot. Still — even just looking can become wearying even when it makes one feel delightful and buoyant! Though I am tired, I have to keep running! So, I made these drawings to be quicker than quick, drawings which I can attest are completely devoid of any thoughts at all!
Van Gogh says something that describes my day and its speed, though he was less lifted by it:
I’m also utterly incapable of judging my own work. I can’t see whether the studies are good or bad. I have seven studies of wheatfields,5 unfortunately all of them nothing but landscapes, much against my will. Old gold yellow landscapes — done quick quick quick and in a hurry, like the reaper who is silent under the blazing sun, concentrating on getting the job done. [To Emile Bernard. Arles, Wednesday, 27 June 1888]
He felt, for the reasons of his time and circumstances, that he must judge his work and not being able to do so was wearying. For me, however, modern girl that I am, not judging is part of my whole goal for these drawings. Merely to draw, to draw a lot, to draw quickly, to get down many things, to pass through many images, to keep my fingers moving, moving, moving.
Quick, quick, quick!